Lysa is not feeling well, we'll start the schedule when she's better. Every day becomes a struggle to stay in this world. I'm almost certain that I don't belong here anymore. I know what i need to do, but I don't know if I can bring myself to leave behind this place of relative comfort to live in a world where I have no certainty. I am impatient, ever so increasingly impatient that the world I need to live in will never come. I know the answer I know where the portal to the next place is. I know how to get there and how to enter it, but it's so frightening. The only certainty is that it's a one way ticket, and I can't bring anything with me. I would have built it with a failsafe. But as the guy in terminator says, "I didn't build the fucking thing."

Do I trust it? This unknown technology built by who knows who. This portal between worlds. I could bring someone with me probably, but that would entirely defeat the purpose.